Monday, March 14, 2011

How many months until this chick gets a job as a stripper?

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Monday, January 04, 2010

How many has God killed?

I kill ... I wound ... I will make my arrows drunk with blood, and my sword shall devour flesh. -- Deuteronomy 32:39-42
How many people did God kill in the Bible?

It's impossible to say for sure, but plenty. How many did God drown in the flood or burn to death in Sodom and Gomorrah? How many first-born Egyptians did he kill? There's just no way to count them all.

But sometimes the Bible tells us exactly how many were killed by God. Here's a list of those that I can find. (If you find any that I've missed, let me know and I'll add them to the list.)

So far I come up with a total of 2,391,421 (not including, at least in some cases, women and children).


SAB, Brick Testament Number Killed Cumulative Total
Lot's wife for looking back Gen.19:26, BT 1 1
Er who was "wicked in the sight of the Lord" Gen.38:7, 1 Chr.2:3, BT 1 2
Onan for spilling his seed Gen.38:10, BT 1 3
Pharaoh and 600 chariot captains (plus his entire army) Ex.14:8-26 601+ 604+
For dancing naked around Aaron's golden calf Ex.32:27-28, 35, BT 3000 3604+
Aaron's sons for offering strange fire before the Lord Lev.10:1-3, Num.3:4, 26:61, BT 2 3606+
A blasphemer Lev.24:10-23, BT 1 3607+
A man who picked up sticks on the SabbathNum.15:32-36, BT 1 3608+
Korah, Dathan, and Abiram (and their families) Num.16:27, BT 12+ 3620+
Burned to death for offering incense Num.16:35, 26:10, BT 250 3870+
For complaining Num.16:49, BT 14,700 18,570+
For "committing whoredom with the daughters of Moab" Num.25:9, BT 24,000 42,570+
Midianite massacre (32,000 virgins were kept alive) Num.31:1-35, BT 90,000+ 132,570+
God tells Joshua to stoned to death Achan (and his family) for taking the accursed thing. Joshua 7:10-12, 24-26, BT 5+ 132,575+
God tells Joshua to attack Ai and do what he did to Jericho (kill everyone). Joshua 8:1-25, BT 12,000 144,575+
Joshua kills 5 kings and hangs their dead bodies on trees Joshua 10:24-26, BT 5 144,580+
God delivered Canaanites and Perizzites Judges 1:4, BT 10,000 154,580+
Ehud delivers a message from God: a knife into the king's belly Jg.3:15-22, BT 1 154,581+
God delivered Moabites Jg.3:28-29, BT 10,000 164,581+
God forces Midianite soldiers to kill each other. Jg.7:2-22, 8:10, BT 120,000 284,581+
The Spirit of the Lord comes on Samson Jg.14:19, BT 30 284,611+
The Spirit of the Lord comes mightily on Samson Jg.15:14-15, BT 1000 285,611+
Samson's God-assisted act of terrorism Jg.16:27-30, BT 3000 288,611+
"The Lord smote Benjamin" Jg.20:35-37, BT 25,100 313,711+
More Benjamites Jg.20:44-46 25,000 338,711+
For looking into the ark of the Lord 1 Sam.6:19 50,070 388,781+
God delivered Philistines 1 Sam.14:12 20 388,801+
Samuel (at God's command) hacks Agag to death 1 Sam.15:32-33 1 388,802+
"The Lord smote Nabal." 1 Sam.25:38 1 388,803+
Uzzah for trying to keep the ark from falling 2 Sam.6:6-7, 1 Chr.13:9-10 1 388,804+
David and Bathsheba's baby boy 2 Sam.12:14-18 1 388,805+
Seven sons of Saul hung up before the Lord 2 Sam.21:6-9 7 388,812+
From plague as punishment for David's census (men only; probably 200,000 if including women and children) 2 Sam.24:15, 1 Chr.21:14 70,000+ 458,812+
A prophet for believing another prophet's lie 1 Kg.13:1-24 1 458,813+
Religious leaders killed in prayer contest 1 Kg.18:22-40 450 459,263+
God delivers the Syrians into the Israelites' hands 1 Kg.20:28-29 100,000 559,263+
God makes a wall fall on Syrian soldiers 1 Kg.20:30 27,000 586,263+
God sent a lion to eat a man for not killing a prophet 1 Kg.20:35-36 1 586,264+
Ahaziah is killed for talking to the wrong god. 2 Kg.1:2-4, 17, 2 Chr.22:7-9 1 586,265+
Burned to death by God 2 Kg.1:9-12 102 586,367+
God sends two bears to kill children for making fun of Elisha's bald head 2 Kg.2:23-24 42 586,409+
Trampled to death for disbelieving Elijah 2 Kg.7:17-20 1 586,410+
Jezebel 2 Kg.9:33-37 1 586,411+
God sent lions to kill "some" foreigners 2 Kg.17:25-26 3+ 586,414+
Sleeping Assyrian soldiers 2 Kg.19:35, Is.37:36 185,000 771,414+
Saul 1 Chr.10:14 1 771,415+
God delivers Israel into the hands of Judah 2 Chr.13:15-17 500,000 1,271,415+
Jeroboam 2 Chr.13:20 1 1,271,416+
"The Lord smote the Ethiopians." 2 Chr.14:9-14 1,000,000 2,271,416+
God kills Jehoram by making his bowels fall out 2 Chr.21:14-19 1 2,271,417+
Judean soldiers 2 Chr.28:6 120,000 2,391,417+
Ezekiel's wife Ezek.24:15-18 1 2,391,418+
Ananias and Sapphira Acts 5:1-10 2 2,391,420+
Herod Acts 12:23, BT 1 2,391,421+

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Tuesday, July 22, 2008

'Allah meat' astounds Nigerians

Diners have been flocking to a restaurant in northern Nigeria to see pieces of meat which the owner says are inscribed with the name of Allah.

What looks like the Arabic word for God and the name of the prophet Muhammad were discovered in pieces of beef by a diner in Birnin Kebbi.

He was about to eat it, when he suddenly noticed the words in the gristle, the restaurant owner said.

A search of the kitchen's meat revealed three more pieces which bore the names.

The meat was boiled and then fried before being served, owner Kabiru Haliru told newspaper Weekly Trust.

"When the writings were discovered there were some Islamic scholars who come and eat here and they all commented that it was a sign to show that Islam is the only true religion for mankind," he said.

The restaurant has kept the pieces of meat for visitors to see.

Thousands of people have already gone to the restaurant to see them since they were discovered last week.

A vet told the newspaper the words "defied scientific explanation".

"Supposing only one piece of meat was found then it would be suspicious, but given the circumstances there is no explanation," Dr Yakubu Dominic said.

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Monday, July 07, 2008

Bill Maher to the Rescue!

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Thursday, March 27, 2008

Parents Pick Prayer Over Docs; Girl Dies

WESTON, Wis. (AP) — Police are investigating an 11-year-old girl's death from an undiagnosed, treatable form of diabetes after her parents chose to pray for her rather than take her to a doctor.

An autopsy showed Madeline Neumann died Sunday from diabetic ketoacidosis, a condition that left too little insulin in her body, Everest Metro Police Chief Dan Vergin said.

She had probably been ill for about a month, suffering symptoms such as nausea, vomiting, excessive thirst, loss of appetite and weakness, the chief said Wednesday, noting that he expects to complete the investigation by Friday and forward the results to the district attorney.

The girl's mother, Leilani Neumann, said the family believes in the Bible and that healing comes from God, but she said they do not belong to an organized religion or faith, are not fanatics and have nothing against doctors.

She insisted her youngest child, a wiry girl known to wear her straight brown hair in a ponytail, was in good health until recently.

"We just noticed a tiredness within the past two weeks," she said Wednesday. "And then just the day before and that day (she died), it suddenly just went to a more serious situation. We stayed fast in prayer then. We believed that she would recover. We saw signs that to us, it looked like she was recovering."

Her daughter — who hadn't seen a doctor since she got some shots as a 3-year-old, according to Vergin — had no fever and there was warmth in her body, she said.

The girl's father, Dale Neumann, a former police officer, said he started CPR "as soon as the breath of life left" his daughter's body.

Family members elsewhere called authorities to seek help for the girl.

"My sister-in-law, she's very religious, she believes in faith instead of doctors ...," the girl's aunt told a sheriff's dispatcher Sunday afternoon in a call from California. "And she called my mother-in-law today ... and she explained to us that she believes her daughter's in a coma now and she's relying on faith."

The dispatcher got more information from the caller and asked if an ambulance should be sent.

"Please," the woman replied. "I mean, she's refusing. She's going to fight it. ... We've been trying to get her to take her to the hospital for a week, a few days now."

The aunt called back with more information on the family's location, emergency logs show. Police and paramedics arrived within minutes and immediately called for an ambulance that took her to a hospital.

But less than an hour after authorities reached the home, Madeline — a bright student who left public school for home schooling this semester — was declared dead.

She is survived by her parents and three older siblings.

"We are remaining strong for our children," Leilani Neumann said. "Only our faith in God is giving us strength at this time."

The Neumanns said they moved from California to a modern, middle-class home in woodsy Weston, just outside Wassau in central Wisconsin, about two years ago to open a coffee shop and be closer to other relatives. A basketball hoop is set up in the driveway.

Leilani Neumann said she and her husband are not worried about the investigation because "our lives are in God's hands. We know we did not do anything criminal. We know we did the best for our daughter we knew how to do."

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Friday, February 08, 2008

God Hates Women

Violations of 'Islamic teachings' take deadly toll on Iraqi women

BAGHDAD, Iraq (CNN) -- The images in the Basra police file are nauseating: Page after page of women killed in brutal fashion -- some strangled to death, their faces disfigured; others beheaded. All bear signs of torture.

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Police chief Gen. Abdul Jalil Khalaf holds a book cataloging the dead.

The women are killed, police say, because they failed to wear a headscarf or because they ignored other "rules" that secretive fundamentalist groups want to enforce.

"Fear, fear is always there," says 30-year-old Safana, an artist and university professor. "We don't know who to be afraid of. Maybe it's a friend or a student you teach. There is no break, no security. I don't know who to be afraid of."

Her fear is justified. Iraq's second-largest city, Basra, is a stronghold of conservative Shia groups. As many as 133 women were killed in Basra last year -- 79 for violation of "Islamic teachings" and 47 for so-called honor killings, according to IRIN, the news branch of the U.N.'s Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs.

One glance through the police file is enough to understand the consequences. Basra's police chief, Gen. Abdul Jalil Khalaf, flips through the file, pointing to one unsolved case after another. Video Watch Khalaf show evidence of the brutality »

"I think so far, we have been unable to tackle this problem properly," he says. "There are many motives for these crimes and parties involved in killing women, by strangling, beheading, chopping off their hands, legs, heads."

"When I came to Basra a year ago," he says, "two women were killed in front of their kids. Their blood was flowing in front of their kids, they were crying. Another woman was killed in front of her 6-year-old son, another in front of her 11-year-old child, and yet another who was pregnant."

The killers enforcing their own version of Islamic justice are rarely caught, while women live in fear.

Boldly splattered in red paint just outside the main downtown market, a chilling sign reads: "We warn against not wearing a headscarf and wearing makeup. Those who do not abide by this will be punished. God is our witness, we have notified you."

The attacks on the women of Basra have intensified since British forces withdrew to their base at the airport back in September, police say. Iraqi security forces took over after British troops pulled back, but are heavily infiltrated by militias.

And tracking the perpetrators of these crimes is nearly impossible, Khalaf says, adding that he doesn't have control of the thousands of policemen and officers.

"We're trying to trace crimes carried out by an anonymous enemy," he says.

Amnesty International has raised concern about the increasing violence toward women in Iraq, saying abductions, rapes and "honor killings" are on the rise.

"Politically active women, those who did not follow a strict dress code, and women [who are] human rights defenders were increasingly at risk of abuses, including by armed groups and religious extremists," Amnesty said in a 2007 report.

Sometimes, it's just the color of a woman's headscarf that can draw unwanted attention.

"One time, one of my female colleagues commented on the color of my headscarf," Safana says. "She said it would draw attention ... [and I should] avoid it and stick to colors like gray, brown and black."

This extremist ideology enrages many secular Muslim women, who say it's a misrepresentation of Islam.

Sawsan, another woman who works at a university, says the message from the radicals to women is simple: "They seem to be sending us a message to stay at home and keep your mouth shut."

After the fall of Saddam Hussein in 2003, Sawsan says, the situation was "the best." But now, she says, it's "the worst."

"We thought there would be freedom and democracy and women would have their rights. But all the things we were promised have not come true. There is only fear and horror."

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Friday, February 01, 2008

Islamists Use Mentally Disabled Women as Bombs

BAGHDAD, Iraq (CNN) -- Two mentally disabled women were strapped with explosives Friday and sent into busy Baghdad markets, where they were blown up by remote control, a top Iraqi government official said.

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Iraqi soldiers secure the scene of a bombing Friday at a popular pet market in central Baghdad.

The bombs killed at least 98 people and wounded more than 200 at two popular pet markets on the holiest day of the week for Muslims, authorities said.

In both bombings, the attackers were mentally disabled women whose explosive belts were remotely detonated, Gen. Qasim Atta, spokesman for Baghdad's security plan, told state television.

Atta said the women were strapped with dynamite and ball bearings, citing members of the bomb squad. The explosives were detonated via cell phone, he said.

An Atta aide said that people referred to the bomber at central Baghdad's al-Ghazl market as the "crazy woman" and that the bomber at a second market had an unspecified birth disability.

The aide said authorities believe the women were unaware of plans to detonate the explosives.

The first bomb blew up at al-Ghazl animal market around 10:30 a.m., killing 69 and wounding more than 140. The second blast happened about a half-hour later in the New Baghdad neighborhood pet market, killing 29 people and wounding 67.

Al-Ghazl pet market is a popular destination where people buy and sell cats, dogs, monkeys and other animals. Attackers have struck the market on Fridays -- its busiest day -- several times in the last year or so.

A January 2007 bombing killed 15 and wounded 52 at the pet market, and 13 people died and 58 were wounded in a November attack.

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